How to Navigate Life After a Big Move: Tips from One Year In

Moving miles away from home is not easy, but what comes after can be just as hard. That big move that is both exciting and terrifying is a mental journey that can last years beyond the move itself. Whether you’re planning to move away from home or just thinking about it, here is a guide for how to survive your first year, from a 25 year old just finishing hers.

Last year I made the choice to move from Lansing, Michigan to Denver, Colorado. I left my family, my friends, a full time salary job and the Great Lakes behind and headed towards the mountains. The first month was weird, mostly exciting, but then the discomfort began to strike over and over. By January I felt like Bella staring out the window after Edward left as the months just kept passing by (you know the scene) Safe to say I was not having a good time. Now, as I enter month 11 in the Mile High City, and feel like I’m finally getting a grip, I want to reflect on all the things that helped me survive the rough patches and all the things I wish I had done sooner.

Listen to Your Body & Take it Easy

The most important thing to remember is that you are going through a huge change, and whether change comes easy to you or not, it’s important to listen to your body and to take care of yourself. Your mental health may react in ways you didn’t expect: your sleeping and eating patterns may change, you may feel more anxious than usual, you might suffer from imposter syndrome, etc. Even the slightest symptoms of discomfort require acknowledgement. Taking care of yourself mentally is vital to surviving the first year far from home.

When you recognize what your body is telling you, give it what it needs. If you’re feeling tired, take a nap. On the other end, if you’re feeling restless, go for a walk. If you’re hungry, eat something. Drink water as much as you can. Don’t try to fight against yourself while you’re going through a big change. It took awhile for my body to adjust solely to the elevation and dry air of Denver. That on top of the stress and homesickness made for a lot of funky things happening to my body. Don’t ignore these changes.

Create Your Safe Space

You’re in your new home, surrounded by boxes, and staring at the blank slate around you. This is the time to focus on creating the space you’ve been dreaming of. Make as much time as you can to personalize your home and allow it to reflect your idea of safety and comfort. Navigating a new city takes time, and it can be hard to find the spots that speak to you right away. It can be uncomfortable to be in new spaces all alone, so to break up that discomfort, a sanctuary where you can relax and debrief is essential!

Ways to make your home a safe space:

Surround yourself with the things you love! (plants, art, antiques, etc.)
Placing pictures of loved ones in different areas
Try using Pinterest boards to shape your style and how you want to feel at home
Finally splurging on the home decor or furniture that’s been in your cart for months (trust me, there’s no better time to do it)
Creating cozy nooks for hobbies and relaxing

Build A Routine

This can be a hard thing to balance, but giving yourself a loose routine around your work schedule can be helpful in settling in and help you feel more “at home”. Just be sure not to overdo it and to still let yourself be in the moment. Use your routine as a guide to keeping yourself grounded when everything you experience is so new. I’ll admit I didn’t form much of a daily or weekly routine for myself the first few months, and I spent a lot of time doing nothing or doom scrolling and feeling horrible about it.

It can be overwhelming to juggle all the new places and activities you want to experience while also wanting to keep your home clean and body healthy. Try to assign each weekday a different “vibe” to follow. Make Thursday a night to try a new restaurant or get take out if you’re too tired. Make Monday a sunset or picnic at a park. Incorporate yoga into your nightly routine, but if you’re not feeling yoga, use that time to read a book or watch a movie instead. Give yourself a routine that leaves room for change and promotes peace and exploration for your new city!

Self Care & Hobbies

Speaking of routines, give yourself room for self care days and nights where you focus on yourself and the things that you love. Life can be overwhelming, especially when you’re starting fresh. These moments of relaxation and creativity are deeply important for your mental and physical health. There are a variety of things you can do (with little to no expense) to give yourself some love:

Give yourself a spa night with a warm bath, candles, and some slow music. Add a bath bomb or a face mask. Moisturize your entire body. Drink a glass of wine or tea or soda water or all three if you want. Give yourself gratitude for making such a big life change.
Make your own picnic. Pack your favorite snacks, drinks, and a cozy blanket. Bring a book, or whatever you’re crocheting, or your Nintendo Switch. Go to the park and lay down for a few hours. Listen to the noises around you and breathe.
Have a comfort movie night with your favorite snacks. (I’ve been enjoying old Rom Coms and dark chocolate and ice cream lately.)
Spend an afternoon on your hobbies. Letting yourself indulge in the activities you love is a privilege and a beautiful way to reconnect with yourself. Your individuality shines through your passions!

Find Your Community

A sense of belonging can make or break how you feel when it’s time to resign the lease. Finding local spaces you feel comfortable in and some people you enjoy talking to is a fantastic place to be by the end of your first year; however, finding that comfort requires leaving your comfort zone. Moving was only the first step.

Find classes or workshops that interest you. Try finding a class in a skill you’re interested in. I’ve seen a lot of local coffee shops and bars promote craft nights, pottery lessons and community work spaces as well. It’s a creative and fun way to get out of the house, find new hobbies, and possibly make some new friends with similar interests.
Explore local businesses. Checking out local businesses is an exciting way to deepen your familiarity and bond with your community. Try striking conversations with the employees about their experiences and personal favorite spots. They may know some good hidden gems.
Take advantage of free days in the city. Museums, zoos, and other places will often have days for the community to come and explore for free. I think it’s definitely worth checking out each place at least once to get to know the culture, beauty, and history behind the place you now call home.
Engage in town and community events. Look up an event calendar and write down some events or festivities that interest you. You may find some really amazing experiences you wouldn’t have even thought of. Concerts count too!
Join Facebook groups. Local Facebook groups and other community platforms can be a great way to connect to people with similar interests and hobbies. I just joined one for a Denver houseplant group and the engagement is electrifying. You might not find your next best friend this way, but it’s nice to know there are people around you that share your passions.
Talk to the people you work with. Talk to your coworkers! Ask them about their day and their experience living there. Maybe you’ll hit it off with someone. I was fortunate to work with a lot of extremely kind people at my first job in Denver and they had a lot of recommendations and insight.

Designate A Support System

I’ve talked a lot about how to get yourself through the first year of a big move, but the truth is, having a support system can be a huge help. This, in a way goes along with finding your community. I was incredibly grateful to be making my move with my boyfriend and a few work friends, but a lot of people won’t have that kind of direct support. Here are other ways to create your support system.

Call your friends and family. If you have a good relationship with your family, call them. Call your friends too. Make a group chat to send pictures and share your new experiences. Let them know when you’re sad or happy or frustrated. Ask your parents questions when you aren’t sure about something. My mom was the first person I called when I decided on day two of my job that I hated it and she was the first person I called on my way to put in my two weeks eight months later. I knew she had rough experiences with jobs in the past, so her advice was everything. The people who care about you want to know what you’re going through and want to help you.
Your Roommates or Neighbors. If you have roommates, get to know them. You may not become best friends, but they can be a friend when you need one. Get to know your neighbors too. If something happens in the home or in the neighborhood, it’s nice to have people you can talk to about it.
Seek a therapist! Life can be beautiful and chaotic and overwhelming all at once. I think everyone should go to therapy at least once in their lives, if not their whole lives. Finding the right one can be a frustrating and scary journey, but it’s worth it to be able to share your thoughts to someone who exists in your life purely to listen and articulate them and help you through the messy moments.
Find online communities. Many people in the world are going through or have gone through a big move away from home. I know I’m not the only person willing to write about it. Try and find some welcoming and supportive spaces to share your thoughts and feelings with others who understand where you’re at. Just remember to practice online safety.

Visit Home Whenever You Can

I made a huge mistake and didn’t visit home at all after moving. I decided not to go home for Christmas. I didn’t go home for any birthdays. By March, I was so homesick that when my mom and sister came to visit me for a week, I cried the entire day after they left. I had felt so far removed from my family that the guilt and pain almost ate me alive. Those negative emotions ended up creating an unhealthy and misplaced feeling of resentment towards my new chosen home.

My advice: if you can go home, do it. If you have family or friends to visit, visit them. Don’t wait it out. Maintaining those connections is healthy and important. Visiting home, your family and friends, can be many things, but overall it’s a way of broadening your perspective on the decision you made to leave. Home is home, but you chose to leave for a reason. You owe it to yourself to stick out that choice and find whatever it is you’re looking for. And if you don’t find it, there’s no shame in admitting that.

The world is big and beautiful and there’s a place for you in it. It might take awhile to find it and the journey may not be easy, but it will be worth it in the end

Thank you for reading! Feel free to leave comments and share your own experience or advice down below

To anyone struggling or feeling discouraged with their move. Know you are not alone. I am here for you.

From Calli, With Love.

Calli with Love